She got up and left, and I never could get the courage to ask her to not leave, I sat out there like a dumb guy. I never made an effort to wipe away the pearls that fell from her eyes, taking with them the kohl that beautifully highlighted her eyes.
I started counting days…1 2 flew into weeks, neither of us called the other. We made a brief pact to remain friends. It was my idea, I was too selfish to let go, she agreed , knowing her, I knew she would. She would talk to me when I called, replied to my messages, but said nothing more. I knew I had hurt her beyond healing.
But what could I do?? I was bound by my issues, I wondered whether I could take the plunge, gather the courage, put my foot down and say she is whom I love, and want to be with, but I knew I lacked courage, BALLS, they rather say. I was a spineless asshole, for letting her go, for hurting her, for making her cry.
She changed her shift, and after 3 months her job. She never stopped talking to me, or rather listening to me, I tried cheering her up, with things that made her smile earlier, but it never worked this time, all I head was ‘mmmm’ or ‘ok’ from her end.
I know I had done a terrible thing, I know she deserved better, I let that thought not cross my mind again.
Everyone was excited about the next (11/11/11) day for no apparent reason, I didn't find anything special, except that it was going to be her birthday. I knew surprising her wasn't the best of things I should do, not at this time.
It was midnight when I called to wish her, and her line was busy, of course with a lot of well wishers. Her phone was busy till 3:45 am.. When I finally got through her.
‘Happy birthday Tamara’
‘So what plans for the day’
‘Umm..Ok, how about we meet over for coffee or something’
‘Am not sure that would be possible’
‘Oh , of course , I understand, you may have plans’
‘Ok alright, have fun, bye’
She seemed a little different, very unlike her usual self, I was worried, my phone sprang to life with a text from her.
It has been the most beautiful time of my life that I spent with you, I love everything about you, and your thoughts seem to have made a permanent spot in my mind, they just don’t seem to go away, no matter what I do, I know time will heal all wounds, but I don’t want this one to heal, I want it to be with me, forever, but that would not be fair on another person right? don’t worry am not expecting anything from your end now, relax, I just want you to know, that I love you a lot, and you are one of the very few nicest people I have ever met. Thank you for helping me get over you. And today I will have succeeded in doing so.tc. God bless. Wish you the best of everything ahead.tc
Her text had my eyes swimming with tears.. I read the text over and over again, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from them, it pierced my heart in a million ways, tears replaced the blood, and oozed out of my eyes. I dialed her number, she never picked the call. So this was it, she has got over me, she will not talk to me again ever.
“Bye Karthik, I love you’, she mouthed these words in a whisper and climbed on to the railings in her balcony, she smiled the gorgeous smile of hers, the stars smiled back, mystified by her beauty..if only they could talk...
She could see the stars, as the wind whooshed by her, her hair flying in tandem with the wind. She smiled, this was her most cherished moment. She kept her eyes open inspite of the wind, her eyes were wet, the droplets left their abode and passed through her almond shaped eyes..
She felt the warmth of the tears as the cold enveloped her frame. Her soft frame made contact with the ground with a thud. Her black tresses lay sprawled on the ground. The crimson of her blood made contact with her frame, and then she got over him….
----------- The End -----------