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Thursday, January 12, 2012

The Perfect Surprise

Rishabh never felt this way, never in all of his ,10 years of married life, he never felt this ‘alive’, yes that was the word... She was captivating, the way she smiled, spoke, her animated gestures, the way her face changed into a million expressions, with every word she spoke … He would understand every word, even if he was deaf.Her animated expressions and  her voice, reminded him of the female leads in disney flicks.

He had  to let her know that he was in Love with her? He knew he had to; he had to let her know, of how he felt …. Today was it…

“Naina”… he called out, thus putting an abrupt stop to their conversation.

“Yes Rishabh”, she looked imploringly in his eyes…and a tiny hint of a smile made its way to her lips.

“Naina, I know this may make you angry, you may even stop talking with me…. However... ssshhhhh “, he said placing a finger on her lips,as she started talking ....  he so wished to kiss her  “Naina, im in love with you, and would want to spend my life with you... Will you marry me?” he blabbered it all out in a rush.

He was too scared to look at her face, he didn't know what to expect, he felt stupid, and who would want to be with a married man!!

“Rishabh, I have been waiting to hear this for the past 6 months” … she got up from her chair, walked towards him, and cupped his face in her palms, and kissed him gently.

They both knew that she had ignited a passion, a thirst that had to be quenched that very moment....

Two hours later, they lay in each other arms, knowing that they had to be together.

“When will you tell your wife about us?”

“Soon, my love… I was wondering if we have to tell her at all”

“Rishabh, I want to be married to you, I would want to be known as your wife!!! and not as your ….”

“Ssshhh Naina, I was thinking, about not letting her know, as she would spell trouble for us.”

“What do you have in mind?”

“If I let her know about us, and if she applies for a divorce, I’m sure about having to loose half of my property to her”

“So let it go, Rishabh, we can always make up for the lost ones and … “


No, Naina, I don’t think I want to do that, I know what has to be done… he thought and smiled to himself and kissed her on her forehead


“You understood what has to be done right? i'll give you, your advance tomorrow at 10:00am same place as last time, and the remaining after the work is over”


“Rishabh what are you doing on the 17th, any plans with your wife?”, asked Naina.

“My wife will be hosting a surprise party for me at our farm house, she starts preparing for it from the 15th, all I have to do is act surprised, and that’s it”


“Naina, how do you know my wife and what were you talking with her?”

“Rishabh , chill!!!, I had seen her from the pictures you had shown me, and I thought it would be nice if I did get to know her… and…Rishabh, trust me, she doesn’t know about us, not from me, but I want you to let her know alright”.


“no mmmmm Rishabh, I want you to let her know, that’s the right way to go about with it”

He smiled and looked at her, but said nothing. You have no idea Naina, you have no idea… he thought to himself


“My wife will be at the Farmhouse on the 16th night, here are the keys, and the other details you asked for, it should look like a robbery, and here are your tickets as well, I hope to never see you again”

As the silhouette of the man disappeared, his cell sprang to life with a text from his wife …. ' Be there at the farmhouse, we have organized your birthday party, and well it’s a surprise party, please act surprised. See you soon.'

He smiled at the Irony of the text message, surprised I would be, and this time for real… he laughed and walked away for the FINALE of his “Plan”


All I have to do is to walk in and act surprised, he enacted the scene in front of the mirror till he was sure he was perfectly  in the character, he smirked at his refection “I’ll be free, I love you Naina, it’s just for you”.

He drove into the farmhouse, unable to hide his excitement.

No sooner had he entered than he saw a crowd gathered around with their backs facing him, he cleared his throat loud enough for everyone to know that he was there.

His friends looked at him, and dropped their gaze, he studied their eyes, they all were sympathetic towards him…

“What happened, what is it”, he stuttered …

“Rishabh we are sorry, the thing is……”

He shoved him away and made his way to the centre of crowd to see a lifeless body, lying in a pool of blood … he was about to turn the body around… when...

“Rishabh, don’t touch it, the police is on its way”

That voice sent shivers down his spine, he was startled and surprised and looked in the direction of the voice, to see his wife sobbing... he looked back at the body, and went around to see who it was….

“She said she wanted to help me with the decorations, and then… when we were  ... someone”, she cried and ran into rishabh’s arm, “someone  ... someone was here... and... he  ... he  ... killed her”… she burst into tears…

Rishabh was too numb, to talk, why did the lifeless body look familiar, his eyes went moist... 

The Police came in and cleared the crowd... and started with their routine…

All he could see was Naina’s limp body

“She was Rishabhs friend  ... she  ... she wanted to help......me... with the decorations…. And she came here... and then when we both were ……”

“Get a glass of water for madam please…please continue”

“the lights went off, I went to check… and I came... “, she cried even more…”I saw….her…and our friends were here by then”

“Did any of you see who did it”, asked the cop

“no, sir…..but…”

He walked towards Naina, and wanted to take her in his arms, he wanted to hold her for the last time … he just wanted to scream, he wanted to cry….  Many emotions flooded through him…as he walked away from everything. he stood glancing into a very bright light… with tears streaming down his eyes…

The curtain fell …. The crowd cheered on with a standing ovation … with shouts of, brilliant play, wonderful ,… filling the air …

The director was overwhelmed with the response …


  1. A commentary of a play...It was quite exciting in the end. Great work dear...

    1. @ Saru : Thank you dear , for the never ending support .. :) it means a lot

  2. Replies
    1. @ Phatichar : haan lekin jaise tumhe kaha na, thoda jaldi khatam ho gaya ...

  3. The crowd is cheering on..alright here..

    Is the Writer overwhelmed with the response? :D

  4. *applause* can you hear them? :D

    Treachery, infidelity reciprocated..I should say as it should be.

    1. @ beyond Horizon : Poonammm .... yes i can kinda hear em :P ...

  5. Stupid murderer, highly unprofessional :P :D

    Nice read.

    Blasphemous Aesthete

  6. This was really well narrated.. Loved it!!
    This truly was beautiful!

  7. Okay two words, fantastic narration. <3
    You only get better and better. :D

    1. @ Crystal : I was a lil apprehensive about the post , but you cleared my doubts :) thaankyouuuu :)

  8. Wow! This was amazing. I was hooked on to it :)

  9. Razor sharp narration, loved it.

    You have all the makings of a murder novelist, you should try that like seriously.

    Cheers :)

    1. Thank you....

      Murder Novelist ... ummm .. well thats a he compliment there ...


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