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Sunday, February 02, 2014


"I saw her first across the Corridor, of this very place, we are standing right now", he cleared his throat. Clearly old age didn't look good on him.


We were assigned projects in the Geriatric ward, for a period of one month. Find your "Subject", they would tell us, and understand the various nuances to their personality. I found the word "subject" so bleh , how can u address someone that way. But well, you tend to learn, to call them subjects after a while.

In my first year of College, I was like a pup, lapping up attention. I knew i would go beyond myself to achieve , the required . There isn't much to know about me .I never knew a family, my family rather. I was raised by Catholic Sisters at an orphanage, so I assumed its good to kneel towards Catholic Faith. most people pride on being a part of their religious doctrine. I simply felt like a creeper , feeding onto the beliefs that were thrown towards me. Not that it mattered!.

I guess being unwanted at an early age, made me a person looking for opportunities, for attention.I excelled at studies , sports and other extra curricular activities, however , the attention I desired off, usually faded within days. It never stayed forever. I wondered what would stay forever, and how would forever feel .

So mote it be , so mote it be.

I was that freak in high school. I used to love solitude , or rather did not have much choice. I just found random conversations about "oh my God, he looked at me" , boring, and the follow ups,equally annoying. I was so done.

I loved reading, it was my stress buster. Nah.. not stress buster, it was like a release , a feeling that goes beyond reasoning ,or my understanding.

It was there that I was first introduced to the best part of my life.

So mote it be so mote it be.


I Finally zeroed in on a "Subject" , an octogenarian or so he seemed. i really didn't bother knowing him , till one day, he just made me know him better.

An hour before leaving, he stopped his continuous muttering and stared at me deep and hard. His eyes screamed 'creep alert' , I could feel the tingling sensation on my nape. He gave me the chills, and then he smiled. I gathered my things and ran for my life.

Two days later. It was as though nothing ever happened. He was the same person, I had first met. No conversation, no eye contact. Just the weird humming sound. However this time. It had an effect on me. The room vibrated, it was like as though he was chanting. it was a Rhythm.

"So  how far have the books helped", he asked me out of the blue.

"ummm which book are we talking about?" . I could feel the walls closing in on me.

He started humming faster. The wind blew against the window, and forced it shut.

"The book of Occult, my dear", he smiled at me.

"I .. i dont know what.. how do you know" , i couldn't stop babbling. How did he know. He also seemed perfectly sane to be held hostage in an asylum.

And then it began, an unusual camaraderie developed between student and pupil. He being my master.


Our friendship grew stronger, and I started visiting him everyday. He taught me all he knew about the Black Art. he would say that it is an ART. A very beautiful one at that.I felt this was way better than reading.


Time just flew by. It was my final year. This was when it all changed. That day it all just changed.

The bloody rains, I cursed internally. I was running towards college. Late, annoyed and dripping wet. That day was so unlucky, started off , by getting up late, missing my bus,then the train, my cab, forgetting my umbrella!!! ughhhh. It couldn't have been worse.

I was running towards the gate, and so was he. We both, i guess were looking down to avoid the rain, hitting our face. I did not see him coming, and we bumped face on into each other. I lost my balance, tried to steady myself, by hanging on to him, but instead pulled him on myself. I registered a fall. Luckily he placed his palm under my head. I felt his weight. But it just felt like 'good weight' . I donno if it made sense. But nothing did, after that. He lifted himself off me, and like a gentleman, picked me up as well. He was chivalrous enough to ask if i was hurt. I don't remember what I said. I tried straightening up myself, trying to look better. But was so distracted by his smile. Good Lord!!, so this was what is felt like.

I did not even realise when he left, but i'm sure I felt stupid.


I met my subject again after a gap of 3 weeks. " So tell me about him", was all he said when I walked to his room.

I rattled off , about how he ignored me. That maybe I was not all that pretty looking for him. I cried. I don't remember when I cried last. I rattled off, how all my attempts to connect went vain. And all I wanted was to have Him forever.

"Forever", he laughed "it can be an eternity my dear, forever might just be too much".

"No, i want him forever, all mine and just mine"

I did not realize my folly then, all i wanted was Him. All to myself.

So mote it be So mote it be


"I saw her first across the Corridor, of this very place, we are standing right now", he cleared his throat. Clearly old age didn't look good on him.

I walked away and he started mumbling something, I really did not bother. I wish i had.

'I saw her first across the Corridor, of this very place, we are standing right now. This place used to be a General Hospital earlier'. he continued oblivious that he did not have a listener.'She stormed past me, and rushed towards the elevator. I was just amazed at how lovely she smelled. She smelled liked fresh dew. Her lithe frame was beautifully caressed in a white saree. Her Hair was all tied up. Some strands resisted and danced across her bare back. She was a nurse there, tending to people, with a beautiful Smile. I was in love with her. I knew I wanted her forever. However, she was engaged to her best friend. Not something I appreciated. I proposed and proposed and proposed. Tried all means possible, and then gave up. Gave up to Black Art.I just loved her a lot. Forever, wasn't enough. She said she would rather die than be with me. I loved her too much to not give in to her wishes. I killed her. I used her blood to keep her with me forever. Black magic is an Art. I have to keep chanting, else I know what she is capable of. People said i'm mad. I was alright ,as long as it gave me the space and solitude to be with her', he smiled looking at her.

Then I saw this young bored girl. She chose me to study. I saw a lot of me in her. Alone, orphan. I knew she would do exactly as i said. I needed more blood , to keep myself strong, to live forever with my woman.

The love affair, she told me, gave me the perfect chance . For both of us. For her to unite with her love, for me to be with mine. I needed two souls, a willing and unwilling. She was willing for forever. It was simple and easy.

She believed that "forever" exists.

I read about her in the news the next day. Poor girl. Killed the boy,and then herself. The media spoke about Love failures and rejection for a week or so. Anyways, I still have Forever.

So mote it be So mote it be 

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