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Sunday, May 06, 2012

Once Again

This post has been published by me as a part of the Blog-a-Ton 27; the 27th Edition of the online marathon of Bloggers; where we decide and we write. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton. The topic for this month is 'Once Again'.

Ek baar phir is dil ne kisi dil se pyaar kiya
Ek baar phir isne apne khuda se shart lagayi,
Ki iss baar aey , khuda
mEre dil ko na dhuka
Mujhe pyaar se hai pyaar
Uss shabd se na bada meri nafrat
Meri mohabbat ka kar thoda izzat
Ussey meri muhabbat ka ho jaane do yakeen

(Once again this heart fell in love
 Once again, it ran a stake with the lord
 That this time around, lord
 Don’t hurt my heart
 I’m in love with the idea of love
 Don’t increase my hatred towards that word
 Do respect my Love
 And let him realize that my love is true )

She sat nibbling on the end of her pen, when he walked towards her. She looked up, and closed her diary, and sipped on the coffee,  which he had bought her. She smiled and looked at him. He smiled back.

“Chale”,(shall we), he smiled , as he crushed his cup, and aimed it at the nearby bin, it missed and it fell.

“mmmm”  she left her coffee unfinished, and sat behind him, on his bike.

Yeh hawa bhi nahi hai hamein chodti
Aaati hain aur chookar chala jaata hai
Ab koi sharam ya haya kyu rakhe
Jab hamari jism , main koi khushboo hi na ho

(Even the wind did not leave me
It comes and touches me
I don’t feel shy or embarrassed,
Now that the scent of my body is lost)

She smiled, at her thought and reminded herself mentally to pen them down.

“Hey are you there, or fell off?” he laughed at his own joke.

“I’m here”, she touched his shoulders.

“Why don’t you hold onto me, tightly, that way I would know you are still here”, he smirked at her reflection in the mirror, she smiled back and leaned across to hug him and held him around the waist. She averted his gaze and looked at her diary, waiting to escape from her bag. She pushed it back in.

They reached his place. He beckoned her to follow him, upstairs. She did as she was asked. When she reached the third floor, she saw him unlocking the door. He glanced around and jerked his head towards the house, for her to enter.

As soon as she entered, she was pushed to the wall. He started kissing her, and feeling her. She stood there motionless, and allowed him to carry on with what he was doing. He turned her towards the bedroom, and pushed themselves inside. He started undressing her, in an urgency that did not bother her much.

“Do you love me?” she asked staring at the wall.

“Yea sure”, he murmured.


He woke up, and saw her staring back at him. “Did you enjoy it?” he asked, a grin spreading over his face, “want to do it again??” He tried rubbing his eyes, but found that his hands were bound to the edge of the bed. “Hmmmm, want to try something kinky, do you?”

She sighed, and started writing in her diary.

“Hey”, he slightly panicked “this is not funny now, untie me, I need to go to the washroom”

She clicked her tongue, and looked at him imploringly, “You know, you are really bad at sex, you have to learn to be more gentle … “

“Shut up, just untie me”

She laughed a hollow laugh, nodded her head, and looked outside the window, “When is your roomie coming back home”

“You stupid BITCH”, he screamed himself hoarse.

“Don’t waste your energy”, she smiled at him ” and sush ok, I want to concentrate while i'm writing”

“You Psycho, you stupid whore, I’ll kill you”

She took a deep breath, and looked at him, “You asked for this yourself”

She walked over to her bag, and removed a small shiny instrument. He tried loosening the cords around his hands in the meanwhile, but they seemed to dig into his flesh even more.

“How do you want me to kill you” she turned to face him with a smile on her face. “Do you want to die real soon? or you like some pain?”

His eyes bulged out in his socket, “What did I do to you, you came here on your own accord, and did I force you?” he pleaded.

“Awwwww, it’s not about you, its me”, she laughed, “its men in particular” she winked at him.

She took out a small phial, and walked with a syringe towards him, filling it up.

He stared at her, and tried to free himself. She saw him do everything possible to free himself. She let him continue with whatever he was doing, and sat down next to the bed. She laid the syringe on the bedside table, and cupped her hands to her face and watched his failed attempts to free himself.

“Please”, he begged, “please stop it, l'll do whatever you want, please, I’m sorry just let me go, Please.”

“Ok, stay still”

He looked at her confused, “Stay still, for what”, he spat out.

“Now now, be nice”, she ran her hand through his chest, and climbed on top of him. “Do you like it this way”? He tried pushing her away, but she sat there, and smiled, she lifted the syringe off the table and ran it through his skin, in a flash.

“Have you heard of the poison arrow frog? its toxic secretions are very valuable. You should have listened when I said that I had been to South America for a research purpose.You won’t feel much pain”

She sat there and saw the light leave his eyes. She cleaned the apartment in another 30 minutes, untied him, and left.

She smiled, as she recollected her uncle’s face. The same guy who, on the pretext of taking her out had raped her and threatened her from disclosing the same to anyone. She did not tell anyone, until she was 21. She retold the entire incident to her uncle, who lay strapped on the bed. It was said he died of a heart attack. No one knew that 500 micrograms of Ricin was injected in his bloodstream.

She loved her research. Being the head of forensics had its own advantages.

Ek baar phir is dil ne kisi dil se pyaar kiya
Ek baar phir isne apne khuda se shart lagayi….


“About me”, she chirped, “well i’m a single woman in search of love”, she giggled and looked at the guy across the bar.

The fellow Blog-a-Tonics who took part in this Blog-a-Ton and links to their respective posts can be checked here. To be part of the next edition, visit and start following Blog-a-Ton.


  1. very well enunciated.. loved the flow and seriousness of the subjects.
    well done

    1. Vva-andya : Thankyou for the read, and comment :)

  2. My god! This is genius! It is everything at once! Emotional, serious, eerie, complicated and so many more things tied up together. I love the simplicity of language that provides for a complex plot as well as characterisation, even in such a short story.

    1. Sayujya : Thankyou so much for those kind words.

  3. The imagination is wonderfully portrayed in a creative way.Awesome..:)But seriously speaking most of the innocent women are facing this cruel act by mad wild animals. Even Government or our laws are not stronger to punish the culprit. Sometimes I feel bad why our laws are timid..:(

    1. @Vajra : Im hoping the "innocent" stop being so, and take measured steps, not as the character in the post, but something more defined, and stand upto Sexual violence.

  4. Awesome Mena - This is just THE thing that any woman who had undergone abuse might be dying to do - sadly not all do Research in forensics :)

    By, Kappu!!!!!!

    1. @ Kappu : Yes, im sure they are, but more importantly ,its when they bear the abuse silently, without bringing it to nayone's notice. Research on google would yield similar results ;) :P

  5. You've done me proud with this one, really... this was a multi-layered, richly textured story. I couldn't have done this myself.. *pats on the back* :)well done, T, very very well done. :)

    1. Really Sri??? ... veeee, U made my day :). *Taking a bow with my nose almost touching the ground* :P

  6. Kudos to your imagination, well narrated it made a very good read.

  7. Whoa...what an amazingly woven story! Loved the narration and the climax too. Excellent work.. :-)

    Keep it up!

  8. the ending hit me slam! the beautiful poetry at the beginning made me anticipate the story in a different way.
    Great story :)

    1. @N.S Kirti : I was worried the poetry may become a tad too borin, bt im glad itt dnt go as i tot it wd :) ....

  9. awesome read it was! loved d post.......:)
    I hope women facing such problems get courage to do something to teach d culprit!
    All d very best for BAT.

    1. @clouds : Thank you so much. Oh yes definitely, i hope they have the courage to confide with their family, for starters. Thank you for the wishes :)

  10. WOW! Just WOW!! The poem said it would be a romantic one but what an ending! Simply loved this. All feelings in one story, from love to hate to anger to revenge and what not!
    Glad to have come here :)

    1. @cd : Am glad you liked this post, and welcome to my blog :). Thank you for being very generous with your comments :)

  11. I do not want to judge the actions of the protagonist but I do like the fact that one is able to see the sadist character she has developed (due to her past experience).

    I also do not want to judge men in general because not many can be just one way or another. We as individuals have many varied traits, men or women, so although the post makes us want to generalize I do not think that would be justified.

    In either case, I liked the fact that the poetry intertwined with the story. I think that really adds to the story, makes one want to read some more (at least that's what it did for me). Would want to read some more, so shall check back soon times.

    All the best for BAT!

    1. @Richi Baidwan : Im glad the fact that her sadistic tendencies have been evident. This story is not to judge her or men in general. I would rather want to highlight the fact, that when such situations are suppressed within the individual, he/she tends to develop traits thats are not visible otherwise.

      And here i was worried about how the poem would be accepted, but am glad you liked it :).

      Thank you for reading, and for your honest comments, and needless to say for the wishes.

  12. Interesting story. But why invite unwanted pain in the first case and then kill the person? Is it not wise to avoid such pain - and stop taking revenge once it taken?

    1. Sexual abuse may have different repercussions, especially when the same is suppressed within an individual. Why the protagonist in my story choses to do so, is because she doesn't believe in the concept of "love". She chooses to believe that men in general are only attracted towards her because of the physical intimacy she could offer them. She feels she is in search of "love", but she isn't, she is basically someone, who walks around, as a normal individual, but deep within, needs Psychological help at the earliest.

  13. A song, a script with a screenplay. All rolled together, you created a rich canvas T.

    Correct usage of emotions and the metaphoric words - I particularly liked this one : The light left his eyes.

    Well done, very well done T :)


    1. Thankyou Vishhhh :) .... Takes a bow :P ...:)


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