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Friday, July 15, 2011

Mortis Angelus

I saw her; she is a dream, all earthly and beautiful. Beautiful is one word that is being used by Humans to describe her , but I choose to differ , I couldn’t seem  to find anything to describe how her hair fell over her face, with her almond eyes staring into space, her eyes echoed “help”, they were waiting for some hands to carry her to safety. She knew her hopes were dwindling when she felt the warmth of blood flowing from her scalp to the corners of her mouth, she could feel the smell of sweat mixed with blood, and could savor the taste of it, which made her more nauseous.


Did she deserve that state of being?? I would say “yes”. I had been waiting for her from the very day she was born, it was etched on to her board that id meet her today, how long did I have to wait for to meet this “flawless” beauty – 28 years, and i'm defined as being “cruel”

I could see the visions of her past flood onto her eyes, as tears streamed down her nose. I saw her life like a movie, all those images flood past her, as tears flowed down in more of a rush. She was hoping he’d come, she had a fight with him moments before he left from home, she saw her child – she wanted to say how much she loved her.

I had to make a choice, than make it more difficult for me, yes as opposed to the normal view, I do have emotions. But then again, her desire was really strong and I knew she wouldn’t give in without a fight.

She was lifted amidst a plethora of voices, she could feel her life draining out, she however gathered all her strength and open-end her eyes, held together her lips, and gathered enough strength to ask the person holding her to call her husband. I was watching her enthralled, impressed by her efforts to keep her soul intact, she turned towards me, I could feel her eyes staring past me, she closed her eyes, her lips came together to form a “prayer”, it rang in my ears , how could I be so “cruel” to have her prayers not answered.

I did everything as was planned. She was to  leave home to her way to office , the very usual route, the very same people, however, today a bunch of kids were on their way after a late night party, and were to ram into her, she missed the earlier bike, and was put directly in front of the car which hit her. A multitude of emotions filled the air, along with her scream. Many people gathered around her, she was trying hard to breathe, and there I was standing, no one seemed to notice my existence inspite of my heavy breathing. I had finished my work. I was just about to leave with her, when my eyes fell on her.

Her eyes, though held Fear was the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen, her nose fit perfectly in between her high cheekbones, her lips had the perfect pout. She was wearing make-up, but inspite of all that, she was still lying there. Her hair curled up on her face, they were brown as opposed to her wheatish skin, but they made her look heavenly. Her perfectly ironed white kameez spoke about the accident with blood oozing onto her, her blue dupatta lay askew on the road.

She prayed for time, I granted it. She lay in the hospital. I saw a man running towards her room with a little girl in his arms, convincing him that everything will be alright. Moments ticked by, I was getting late; I had passed her time limit. He ran and looked at her, she was relieved to see him, he placed the little girl on her bed side.” i’m sorry” Ravi, she said, I love you, please take care of Ananya. I have always loved you Ravi, inspite of all the flings you have had, I know I won’t be around to see her grow, but give her the best that you can give her. Ravi was drawn back to the scene in their apartment before the accident took place. Namrata accused him of being with another girl, he said he would leave her and go with the other girl, and he did not love her anymore. He was pulled back to reality with his daughter’s voice, “daddy, when is mummy coming home”. Tears lined his face.

I had to do my work, hadn’t I; I do get carried away by too much of emotions. I knew she was ready. I knew she was happy, I had granted her wish.

I did not introduce myself now, have I?I don't have the manners as is borne by you earthly beings. I am someone who no one likes, called by many names, and feared just the same. Call me Death, that’s how I like it. I'll be seeing all of you soon, and take you to a different world, so that you can make a transition that is written.


Thursday, July 14, 2011

Social networking sites…

A friend recently sent me a mail which had in it an invite to join a Social networking Site, which apparently is testing the waters, and its market value et al. So, here am I a FB loyalist who is being asked suddenly to shift to Google + cause it’s the “new thing”. Curiosity got the better of me, and well did I accept it, of course I did!! And stared at the screen for 5 minutes, clicked some odd tabs, and signed out! Later to my surprise I get 3-4 mails of similar nature and then when I checked on to see how well the
Senders of the e-mail were faring on this new Social networking site, I checked their Profile’s, which left my mouth wide open (literally), certain Friends of mine already had 220 “circles” (I assume them to be a friend list). If Google + was just on a testing spree, how come so many people get to “test” it.

Anyways, so the fact here is that there is a huge choice of networking sites out there (than you Wikipedia for the information), and according to a survey (why would anyone take such a survey), every 2 minutes, a new person is introduced to a new networking site. Now these SNS (social networking sites), have made relationships “virtual”, and in a way easy. So all you have to do is update new events in your life on SNS and your near and dear ones (and strangers), get to know what exactly is happening with your life, cool huh!!

So how does one choose over the multitude of choices that is offered? It’s like walking into a supermarket and being welcomed by a flood of products, and the “poor” customer has to make a choice based on previous experience, or the advertisement or something else. So, having been in the midst of a Facebook v/s Twitter argument, which finally culminated into how fb is more personal and twitter more professional(wonder how), but ya, so is that how we choose our SNS, as to which one to be in.

I wonder how our parents must have survived without these unnecessary “comforts” of technology? Easy.... there were better things and sources of recreation to head out, rather than the SNS!!!I know it’s difficult to get that back, cause here I am typing out how I feel about the same for a blog, rather than voicing it. So I guess I won’t be surprised if we have Virtual weddings for the simple reason that the Groom is too busy Updating his status, and would want the “bride” to say “I do” over Facebook, so that he can let everyone know that immediately.

Even school going children prefer spending time over the Internet with SNS’s than going and playing in their spare time. I have a feeling all playgrounds will be razed to create more space for the booming population, but somehow they won’t really be missed.

SNS provide with “Dating” facilities as well, I had a friend who recently expressed her “feelings” about some “guy” whom she met over a SNS; Wow we could even have SNSMARRY.COM soon. Hoping she doesn’t read this, I really wonder whether that’s even a guy, isn’t it easy to create a fake account?? but she having sensed the “silence” on the other end of the phone, dismissed all my negative thought by stating, “I really like him, and am hoping that it turns out well”, so there we have case number8954765958 of Online attraction.
Addiction to the SNS may even further go on to create certain Psychiatric associated illness, with people feeling depressed over lack of comments, or for lack of status updates. There may even be an addition to the list of illness -  say “cyber depression”, wow; I guess I should be called the mother of Cyber depression for having coined the term (lol)

So kudos to the people behind this SNS brainchild and “thank you” for helping us stay connected and even reconnect to Past horrors.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Have you been Interviewed ?

We all pass out of college with Stars in our eyes, and dreams of the “Job” that one would continue with for an entire lifetime (or atleast 2 months). The only thing or rather person who stands in between you and the dream job is the Hr personnel and a hell lot of questions, having asked some myself, I know feel, or rather know how stupid all of them are.

Tell me something about yourself :The first time I was asked this question, I was thinking -  ummm what do want to know, I mean seriously how much do you want to know , cause all what is related for the applied position is mentioned on my Resume, cant you read, but since the Job is important ,with a suppressed rage turning into sarcastic smile tuned to look like a confident smile, I blabber on, about my “educational qualification” (and add some extra rubbish , presumably about things I wanted to do, and havnt), and then look expectantly for another question (just the way my pup used to look at me for food)

What do you know about the company : (Apart from the fact that you guys will have to tolerate me and pay me for it, buhahahhaah ) I always form a “mental bubble” when stoooopid situations occur, so as to bash or abuse the person in my mind, and thus still hold a pleasant face, I mean dude, do you want me to tel you how the company is going “down” and will be bought by another company, and how the stocks have crashed overnight, but then , miss wannabe independent leaves out all that aspect and blabbers on everything “nice” she found on the internet (thank you Google, what would I do without you, and off late, I really love you).

Why do you think you fit the requirements: ( hehehe, I thought you knew that…lol – were the requirements changed to a nuisance creator, who’d literally laugh her ass out,and make odd faces!! Yeaaaa I suit the bill) Again, I sit upright, trying to look all businesslike and blabber on about how “exactly” I fill the bill and how the id “contribute” to the company as well.

How much do you expect as your Ctc : (wow, can I even ask for a pick-up and drop in a merc, and an all expense paid trip anywhere I like) Inspite of wanting to say a huge amount I stick to the cliched answer, as per company standards (because seriously you cannot match mine .. hahahah ). Honestly, if I said exactly what I had on my mind, would you still hire me??

Where do you see yourself in 5 years : (5 years is too long, say 5 months, in your chair, asking better questions ) However, I reply, “I see myself growing with the company” .. I mean really!! That is one clich├ęd pathetic answer, but somehow gets you the job…

Honestly, what are Interviews coming upto !! Yes these are absolutely compulsory questions that you are bound to hear at every other interview… so all the best , next time you hear em all …

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Crowded Comfort ...

Crowds have a very pacifying feeling. I know that sounds creepy and weird but come to think of it, I so love to see 50+ people crammed together in a bus, and still coexisting peacefully, till their respective destinations. Crowds have always baffled me, I love a certain flow in them, and maybe I’m too scared just to be left alone.

A certain incident today made me think about the entire “crowd” routine. Now God, loves to feel important, so he ensured that he wouldn’t feel left out and hence made it mandatory for people to come visit him, and when I talk about people I’m not talking about a handful of them, am talking about 100’s of walking, talking men , women ,children, old young, thronging for a glimpse of God.

A certain incident that I had spoken about earlier was when I had attended Mass (out of God’s so called obligatory rule).The entire church was crammed up with more than 200 + people. However inspite of the insane crowd, all of us literally found place to park our ass, with a little bit of adjusting here and there, and even when little kids moved in from one place to another in the limited space, it was just fine. Wow...

Mumbai local trains: A compartment can maybe normally hold say 60 people comfortably, however, our “aam junta” would squeeze in the limited space which just appears mysteriously, and the crowd outnumbers itself from the comfortable 60 to above 100. People do complain, however they end up finding solace in someone’s armpit, or bosom (not exaggerating). That feeling of togetherness towards a particular destination is really awesome, minus the theft, and occasional “gaali galoch”.

Railway stations/bus depots: An array of people just fills up the place, they keep pouring in and out of the medium of transport and somehow, many just replace the one’s who have gone. From the endless lines at ticket counters, to the people hanging onto their dear lives in local trains….Crowd is the word

Subways: phew!! Yes subways!! Early mornings, afternoons, evenings, late evening…you will definitely find People, huge number headed out to wherever the subway leads. Its filled with college kids, professionals, corporates, rich, poor, skinny, fat, tall, short, fair , dark….(and no 1 looks identical, God must be really hardworking). The energy that the crowd exhibits is really one to watch out for.

Shopping zones: from the streets to the malls, you name it, there you will have an amazing and in a way well organized crowd. People trying on things, bargaining, it may seem chaotic, however, a closer look bears it all, it isn’t one bit.

I love Crowds, I love the energy it has, the colors it brings out, the resilience it gets in people’s have always found solace in crowds, you can easily gel among them and yet stand out. Its simply a picturesque feeling, worth a camera, worth a million words, if you haven’t yet  had the feel, you should, I love it for the sole reason of observing various facets of people that are visible, various behavior patterns, fashion, talks, a lot. Its lovely to be born as a human.
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