Have you been Interviewed ?

We all pass out of college with Stars in our eyes, and dreams of the “Job” that one would continue with for an entire lifetime (or atleast 2 months). The only thing or rather person who stands in between you and the dream job is the Hr personnel and a hell lot of questions, having asked some myself, I know feel, or rather know how stupid all of them are.

Tell me something about yourself :The first time I was asked this question, I was thinking -  ummm what do want to know, I mean seriously how much do you want to know , cause all what is related for the applied position is mentioned on my Resume, cant you read, but since the Job is important ,with a suppressed rage turning into sarcastic smile tuned to look like a confident smile, I blabber on, about my “educational qualification” (and add some extra rubbish , presumably about things I wanted to do, and havnt), and then look expectantly for another question (just the way my pup used to look at me for food)

What do you know about the company : (Apart from the fact that you guys will have to tolerate me and pay me for it, buhahahhaah ) I always form a “mental bubble” when stoooopid situations occur, so as to bash or abuse the person in my mind, and thus still hold a pleasant face, I mean dude, do you want me to tel you how the company is going “down” and will be bought by another company, and how the stocks have crashed overnight, but then , miss wannabe independent leaves out all that aspect and blabbers on everything “nice” she found on the internet (thank you Google, what would I do without you, and off late, I really love you).

Why do you think you fit the requirements: ( hehehe, I thought you knew that…lol – were the requirements changed to a nuisance creator, who’d literally laugh her ass out,and make odd faces!! Yeaaaa I suit the bill) Again, I sit upright, trying to look all businesslike and blabber on about how “exactly” I fill the bill and how the id “contribute” to the company as well.

How much do you expect as your Ctc : (wow, can I even ask for a pick-up and drop in a merc, and an all expense paid trip anywhere I like) Inspite of wanting to say a huge amount I stick to the cliched answer, as per company standards (because seriously you cannot match mine .. hahahah ). Honestly, if I said exactly what I had on my mind, would you still hire me??

Where do you see yourself in 5 years : (5 years is too long, say 5 months, in your chair, asking better questions ) However, I reply, “I see myself growing with the company” .. I mean really!! That is one clichéd pathetic answer, but somehow gets you the job…

Honestly, what are Interviews coming upto !! Yes these are absolutely compulsory questions that you are bound to hear at every other interview… so all the best , next time you hear em all …